Fear of the unknown

The way parents, teachers, and mentors talk about college makes it almost seem like a movie, some unreal thing that’s so far in the distant future. In fact, we get pounded with it so much in our early years it seems like a horror movie, it can be very daunting. For so long, it was so far away that I didn’t even have to worry about, now all of a sudden it starts tomorrow. I know what I’m going to do as far as my major, and I have all my credits already, so why am I so terrified. My college applications to UC Berkeley, UC Davis, Boston University and UNR are even complete; what could it be? It’s the fear of the unknown, or in other words not knowing what the future holds. It happens to all seniors I would like to think, since we have been forced to go to school since we were five, now we have to go out into the world and make something out of ourselves. Doing it yourself, which means nothing is guaranteed, I know I’ve worked hard for it and will continue to do so, but how will I know where I am going to be next year. That’s terrifying to me, since I have many opportunities available that could see me end up at home, in California, or even in Boston for god’s sake. Would I don’t make the right decision either? What if I get to a place where I can’t function in the environment or the situation just isn’t right? Nevertheless, I have never been more excited for what is to come and to start my life, it is just very daunting at this time.   

Expectations

It is a known fact that we as humans are a species that, by our very nature, thrive off instant gratification in nearly every situation. Some people, either through years of experience or just because of their personality, have adapted to be more patient. The rest of us, however, must be condemned to a life where we must have what we desire at that very moment, and of course we cannot; that’s just the way of the world.

It is simple really why the world is the way it is today, the world of instant satisfaction, humans are a very meticulous species. People didn’t like the time it took to walk somewhere, so the automobile was invented; people didn’t like the difficulty of communicating; now we have the cell phone over one hundred years after the godfather. So, by the very attitude of our ancestors, it is only natural that we crave instant satisfaction, since it is almost always available. But the flaw in this idea starts in our minds, in that people think that this gratification is owed to them, so they create expectations. Going into a task or an event with expectations can lead to an almost guaranteed failure, because the outcome will never be what we had anticipated. After failure, we strive even more for that sense of accomplishment, and when it does not come, accomplishment succumbs to frustration. After a while, you end up wanting something so bad based on the frustration, that what you were trying to achieve essentially loses its meaning, and the cycle ends up being repeated. And this could have all have been solved with one simple step, which could be a rule for living life: never place expectations on anything, without expectations, it’s impossible to fail. 

Berkeley essay

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

     In every success story since the dawn of the modern age, those people have been asked “what drives you?” or “what is the secret to your success,” in other words. Every answer is usually very different; so far in my very young life, my success is owed to two items: ambition and self- discipline.

     In my young years, I witnessed some very trying times; times that decided the outcome of my life based, on how I reacted to them. Witnessing events such as a death in the family, or a relative having a run-in with the law, sorrow can take its effect on a young boy; even cause him to give up on his dreams and aspirations. That was never the case for me, I guess because it never really affected me directly. What I did instead is use that as fuel to apply myself even more, even more compellingly, to pursue ultimate goal; and in a way to let my light outshine the dark times in my family.

     Now that I am in high school, my ambition and self-discipline have grown together and I have taken them to a whole new level. I very much enjoy challenging myself, so I took every possible AP class that was available to me. Four AP classes brings a ton of homework, but it’s all part of challenging myself until I push myself to the breaking point, but I haven’t hit that point yet. My teachers and counselors tried to talk me out of it, calling me absolutely insane, but I just saw it as adding credentials to my college resume, and it wasn’t really that difficult.

     My junior year I was promoted to project manager of our moonbuggy team at school, which was a whole other load of work added. I was responsible for making sure we had all the material needed to complete the project, distributing different tasks to all the team members, and making sure the project was completed on time. This meant for about twelve weeks in the middle of the year, I was at school six days a week, an extra 35 hours working on the project. This alone was considered a full-time job by most of my peers, and even that was before being a full-time student came into the equation.

     Now I am heading to college, and no matter how difficult it may be I know I will be able excel. The reason is that I have already tested it; no matter what life throws at me or how difficult my studies are, I know I will be able to perform to the best of my abilities and move that much closer to realizing my dream of becoming a mechanical engineer. 

Context

Usually, an author is nice enough to think of his future audience, such as a group of AP English students in backwoods Reno, Nevada, to make it easy for said students to pull a piece of text out of a bigger work and be able to analyze it. Heck, the entire structure of the class that is AP English Language and Composition is basically based on this assumption. But maybe this William Shakespeare dude, maybe you’ve heard; maybe he didn't get the memo. For our class while reading Hamlet, we are required to individually find a speech, memorize it, and discover the meaning of said piece of text. Drawing on the assumption that I stated above, I chose a speech that we had not come to, Hamlet’s “how all occasion’s” soliloquy, thinking I could figure it out. It’s been a literal and figurative “walk in the park” memorizing it, and I thought I was understanding it alright as well. When we finally got to that part of the play, Act 4 Scene 4 to be exact, I was enlightened by the fact that I could not have been more wrong. So it turns out that when reading Shakespeare, you have to read the speech in context with the rest of the scene and the plot to actually develop an understanding, who knew! And yes, this occurs every single time, fortunately and unfortunately. It was amazing what a difference it made, I thought the delicate and tender leading the army was Hamlet at first, but no turns out it was Fortinbras, whom I had thought we were able to forget about by now. So the moral of this story is, Shakespeare isn’t nice, one does not simply analyze just one part of a scene and fully understand without reading the rest of the scene. 

How hard could it be?

Prompt 1: Describe the world you come from — for example, your family, community or school — and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.

Prompt 2: Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?

Here it is, my plan for break has been executed flawlessly, with not a bit of procrastination. Homework has been finished early; the rest of the week can be spent trying to make a dent in the daunting figure that is college applications. (two days later) So turns out the applications were not so bad, just your basic everyday stuff, everything is looking up nicely, only the two essays remain.

It has been a week since I only had two essays to go in my application process, and no progress has been made. Luckily, I was able to answer one of the prompts for my English class, but this second prompt seems nearly impossible. All it is, is a personal statement to talk about who we are (personality) and to test the ability the student has a writer; how hard could it be? First of all, throughout my high school career I have been taught that writing an essay about me and my opinion is nearly blasphemous; second of all, the essay is for Berkeley so I obviously want it to be perfect. But where to start? These essays are so general that anyone that has done anything in their life has an infinite set of possibilities of writing topics at their disposal. So there lies my dilemma, how can I write a perfect essay about myself when I cannot even find the initial inspiration?

plan for break

For most people, break is seen as a relief; a week off from school to free the mind of all things school and do nothing absolutely nothing but glue oneself to a television screen, since school has been “so hard” on them so far. Rejuvenation and relaxation and going back to school fresh are all well and good, when you possess the time to do so. As for me, break is the time to catch up on things I simply have no time to during the school week. On this fall break in particular, I will be kicking it into high gear and never be more busy. The number 1 thing on the priority list, start on my path to college. I will begin filling out my entrance applications to the University of California-Berkeley, the University of California-Davis, and the University of Nevada- Reno. Break will be the best time to do this because I can focus on just this task so I do not miss anything in the application process. Included in this I will continue to look everywhere for every possible scholarship that I qualify for (have to pay for Berkeley somehow)

Second on the priority list is to get some much needed work done on my Capstone project. This is a great week to get this done because the first part of my project consists of sitting in front of the computer and figuring out layouts of various items.

Last but definitely not least, is to stay caught up on my school work. I was given a little bit of homework over break by my teachers, to say the least; scratch that, a whole load of homework. And if I am to complete it in an efficient manner, I can’t wait until two days before the end of break to start on it all. Especially if I am to keep true on my goal to end my High School career with a bang and earn straight A’s.

Awesome Hamlet stuff.

Act 1 Hamlet passage analysis

 

     Revenge in our society is something that has become very misleading, in that people often think that in order for revenge to be served, the person must take upon themselves to seek it, when often this is not the case. In Act 1, Scene 5 of Hamlet, William Shakespeare alludes to karma, the idea that when a betrayal has occurred, in time the “heavens” shall grant the revenge that is owed. In exercising his purpose, Shakespeare uses figurative language and the most cynical and senile betrayal throughout history; a man being betrayed by his wife.

     In Act 1, Scene 5, Young Hamlet is visited by his father, where he learns that his father was killed by his uncle, the new king. Old Hamlet immediately tells his son of a way to kill the new king and seek revenge upon him, but he is more worried about the queen. The confound attitude of Old Hamlet is exemplified by his recognition that she had taken such a step down; He treated her so well and now she is doomed to a life of misery with the new king because she deserves so much better. Time is the enemy of memory, however, which Shakespeare shows in the queen marrying in such a short time.

     As time passes, people are desensitized to their memories and therefore they forget what they had, as the queen experienced. Her sorrow had left her searching for something to ease the pain, and old Hamlet’s brother appeared to be a cure, even for a short time. This is very normal, and old Hamlet explains this to his son. “But virtue, as it never will be moved, though lewdness court it in the shape of heaven, so lust, though to a radiant angel link’d, will sate itself in a celestial bed and prey on garbage”. This draws attention to the fact that in the eye of sorrow, a lowering of standards can occur as a temporary remedy.

      Right as the hollowed ghost is about to part is when the allusion to karma occurs. Old Hamlet tells his son that he must forgive his mother and leave her alone, for in time the heavens will take her and revenge will be sought, “and to those that in her bosom lodge, to prick and sting her.” With no way to enact revenge civilly under the laws of god, the ghost suggests that his son leave the queen to god himself. With no loss of virtue, leaving an individual “to the heavens” can be the best means.

     In Hamlet, William Shakespeare shows that in time, tragic events will always, run their course; meaning the cycle will complete and the proverbial knife will come back and rein on the stabber. To do this, Shakespeare draws attention to a man being killed, his wife then betraying him shortly after he dies, then placing their son directly in the middle of it, which evokes great emotion in the audience.

Bigger than what it seems.

What is the meaning of bliss? The denotative meaning of it is to achieve perfect happiness, as to be oblivious of everything else. So, naturally, bliss becomes a matter of perspective; what brings you bliss? Engineering, specifically welding and fabrication, has been personified as such a masculine enigma, something that has no emotion or even passion involved in it. But the ancient Chinese philosopher once observed that if you love what you do, you’ll never work a day in your life. So if this it to be true, there is some sort of passion in every field, if the person has chosen what he or she truly loves to do. I am very fortunate to have my “thing” while I’m still in high school, welding. It is so hard to explain to those who cannot understand, so I figured it might be easier when my audience is not right in front of me. To others, it is simply sticking two pieces of metal together with some kind of heat, but it so much bigger than to me. For me, welding is bliss; simply because it is just me, with no pressure. When the welding flipped down, it gets very dark, and then a little light appears, this is where complete bliss happens. I can feel myself performing the act, therefore I know it is in fact me doing it, but my hands and the rest of my body seem so disconnected from what I am witnessing, that it’s like I am watching a movie where I am the lead actor in this film, it’s fascinating. So, in conclusion, everybody has that one thing that they are destined to do, and although mine may be unorthodox, it is mine.

A crude realization

A week or two ago, I had a post about what an overwhelmingly awesome feeling it was to finally be able to understand a play written by William Shakespeare. The Shakespeare portion of every year of my English class has always been a dreadful event to look forward to, for it was almost certain that it would drop my grade from an A to a C, it seemed. But now, although very cliché, the light bulb has gone off and it seems as if reading Shakespeare is as easy to understand as casual conversation with friends. It came as a relief as well being that we are reading Hamlet in our class, given the fact that it is supposed to be one of Shakespeare’s most famous masterpieces. The first week was great, then I realized at a certain point in the middle of the second week; THIS PLAY IS WEIRD!!! We haven’t even progressed through the second act yet, meaning nobody has died yet, and I am already catching on to some of the weirdest stuff I have ever heard. Hamlet’s acting all crazy as part of his plan to kill his “uncle dad”, Polonius thinks he knows why Hamlet is acting strange when he is dead wrong, and tells the king that he may behead him if he were being deceitful (Ironic, right?), and Fortinbras and his army are going to “pass through” Denmark on their way to Poland; Wonder how that’s going to work out? All this leads me to believe that Shakespeare must have been one dysfunctional individual to write a play like this! This play has got to be one of the most amazing things I have ever read, however, as I am finding myself getting more and more excited to do my English homework.